


Men's Best Friend

by Reiven



Series: Breaking Point [3]
Category: Point Break (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bait Dog, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Paralysed Johnny Utah, Service Dogs, Warning: Past Animal Abuse Mention, Whump, the dog doesn't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 09:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiven/pseuds/Reiven
Summary: Inevitably, life goes on, and Bodhi and Johnny for all the obstacles they’d encountered and the challenges they faced along the way, aren’t an exception to the rule. But for all the trials they are yet to face and all the complications life would undoubtedly throw at them, at the very least they have each other. One major change, however, is still in store. As the saying goes, when life hands you lemons - get a dog.





	Men's Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to everyone who commented, liked and read _Breaking Point_ and _Reaching the Breaking Point_ , especially **Apfelessig, darnnagini, comfycandlelight** and **Charamaffle**. The reaction has been great and admittedly more than I even expected considering the actual size of the fandom, so I appreciate each and everyone of you even more.
> 
> Thank you for coming on this journey with me and enjoying it as much as you have.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Their first month together isn’t the easiest. Bodhi thought he’d prepared himself for any possible scenario, but the fact is how do you really prepare yourself for such a life changing situation? It wasn’t just Johnny’s life that had changed; through his changes were the most apparent and the most traumatic, Bodhi’s life had irrevocably changed as well, and though the change was difficult and often times a struggle to get through, it wasn’t a decision he regretted making.

He cares about Johnny, he _loves_ him. Love is still a word that tumbles awkwardly off his tongue but it doesn’t lessen the truth in the statement. He’d been drawn to Johnny almost from the first moment they met and every second they spent together only cemented the strength of his certainty.

He loves Johnny and he would do absolutely anything for him.

Bodhi knows that it isn’t an easy time for Johnny either. He knows that the words he’d sometimes say in anger are just that: his anger. It not something he really feels or anything he really means, though he knows that most of the time, the feeling of self-loathing and hatred that Johnny feels towards himself hold an ounce of truth to them, no matter how much or how many times Bodhi tries to assure him otherwise. Johnny would just smile one of his sad smiles, the one that no longer reaches his eyes or brightens his face the way it used to when they first met, and he’d say ‘you’re right, I’m sorry’ without really meaning it and it was obvious.

Bodhi doesn’t want him to be sorry, he doesn’t want him to apologize, he honestly just wants Johnny to be truthful to him and to himself because most of the time his anger would be directed at everything else besides what was the true cause of his depression: the shooting, his injury, everything that happened to him and it’s painful for Bodhi to see Johnny suffering so much in silence, like he was afraid to let Bodhi know how he really felt; that he was afraid of Bodhi seeing how broken he really was on the inside.

His mood would fluctuate between pretending nothing was the matter; carrying on conversations like it was any ordinary day of the week, and not leaving the bed for days on end; refusing to eat the morsels of food Bodhi would bring to him and only just drinking enough water to make Bodhi stop hovering.

He’d spend days curled up under the blankets in the dark, the curtains pulled close, blocking the warm sunshine from streaming into the room to give it life, or at least to give any sort of semblance that there was a living person in that room.

There were days, some of the darker ones, when Bodhi wished Samsara were there, or even Roach. They were much better dealing with the emotional aspect of things, something he had very little experience in. Up until the moment he met Johnny, he never thought he’d ever find himself in that situation: settling down with another person in one place. Not just that, _wanting_ to settle down with another person in one place and actually have a happily ever after. Bodhi had really just one possible scenario he’d envisioned for his future, and that was to die a glorious death at the mercy of mother nature and until the moment he met Johnny, he thought that he was the only one who had those feelings.

Sure Roach, Grommet and the others, they followed him, and they would have continued to follow him to the bitter end (and they did), but there was still something lacking in their eyes, the same drive he had in himself, the same need and desire for the rush the tasks gave him. They lived for the challenge, but unlike Bodhi, deep down; they really weren’t prepared to die for it. To live life the way Bodhi did, to do the things he did, there needed to be a small part of a person’s soul, a small part of a person’s spirit that _wanted_ to die. None of them wanted to die, but with Johnny, it was obvious to Bodhi that in a way, a part of Johnny had already died a long time ago.

Perhaps that was what drew Bodhi to him in the first place.

Bodhi wasn’t afraid to die, and for the longest time Johnny was too afraid to live.

Ironically, at the very end of that treacherous slope, it was only Johnny and Bodhi who were left alive.

Today seems to be one of _those_ days. Bodhi is in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee – his seventh, had he been keeping count – it’s nearly noon; the sun is shining in the sky is the distance and he can hear the soothing sounds of the waves lapping at the shore just beyond the veranda.

He’d woken up that morning, kissed Johnny on the cheek before he got up and left the room but the other man had been despondent. Questions had been met by ambiguous one-worded grunts which Bodhi interpreted as a _no_ , so Bodhi had been expecting a long day of trying to get Johnny to just take even a single bite of toast to get his energy up.

Needless to say it came as a shock to him when he sensed movement out of the corner of his eye and glanced over just in time to see Johnny wheel himself out of the hallway into the kitchen space.

“Good morning,” he says; a slightly surprised tone to his voice as he pushes himself off the counter he’d been perched on.

“Morning,” Johnny replies; his voice slightly hoarse from sleep; his eyes still bleary and his hand reaching up to run through his disheveled hair in an attempt to smooth them down into something presentable.

Bodhi grabs the coffee pot and an extra mug and makes his way over to the table in the living room, prompting Johnny to follow his lead. He pours Johnny a cup without asking and slides it over to him once he settles his chair into the empty spot by Bodhi’s elbow.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks, though he can almost guess what the answer is going to be.

Johnny just shrugs casually without looking up to meet Bodhi’s eyes, instead focusing his attention almost completely on the cup of coffee before him though he doesn’t make a move to reach for it.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Bodhi asks after letting the silence marinate for a while. “I make some mean pancakes, or so I’ve been told.”

Johnny just shakes his head.

Bodhi tries not to sigh. Instead he tries to bury his sorrow in his cup of coffee and not show his disappointment too obviously in his body language.

“What you said…” Johnny starts suddenly and unexpectedly. It takes Bodhi a moment to realize that he’s even talking, “Before, when we first came here… about the dog… were you serious?”

It takes a couple more seconds for Bodhi to decipher the series of sentences and recall what moment Johnny is even talking about before he remembers. “Yes, of course,” he says immediately. “Would you like to get a dog?” he turns the answer into a question of his own and tries to keep the look of joy from being too obvious on his face when Johnny finally looks up.

“I… I don’t know,” he says unsurely, “I just remembered you said that and I guess… I was just thinking.” He trails off and, much to Bodhi’s disappointment, averts his gaze once again.

This time though Bodhi takes action, reaching out with one hand to cup the side of Johnny’s face, running a thumb gently across his cheekbone. He forces a smile onto his face once he manages to attract Johnny’s eyes to him again. “Johnny Utah, would you like to get a dog with me?” he asks again.

This time Johnny meets his eyes and keeps his gaze steady before slowly nodding his head. Bodhi’s insides do a little jig at the sight.

“I’ve always been partial to Dogo Argentinos,” he says and tries not to grin too wide when a small smile tugs at the corner of Johnny’s lips.

“You are like a Dogo Argentino,” Johnny says and this time Bodhi allows himself the laugh.

\--

They drive to town a little later that day to a small shelter that Bodhi found online.

It feels strange being behind the wheel of the car again. Bodhi hasn’t stepped foot in the car since they arrived at the house nearly a month or so back. He’d made sure to stock up on supplies before he and Johnny moved in and since it had been a pretty rough time; Johnny hadn’t really been in the most festive mood so they’d barely made a dent in their supplies for the entire time they’d been there, so there had been no reason to take a trip into town. Plus Bodhi didn’t want to leave Johnny alone at home, if not for any other reason than the fact that Johnny had been alone for far too long already and Bodhi was adamant about being there for him every step of the way until Johnny himself would ask him to leave and give him some privacy.

Bodhi glances at Johnny periodically as they’re driving down the nearly deserted road; only a handful of cars pass by them on the road that overlooks the ocean beyond the steep cliffs, so mostly it’s just the two of them, the silence and the feel of the wind whipping their hair across their face.

Johnny keeps his eye on the passing scenery, not glancing at Bodhi even once during the whole trip but Bodhi doesn’t take it to heart. Sometimes Johnny just needs time with his own thoughts, though Bodhi knows that too long spent in the silence of one’s own mind isn’t the healthiest of coping mechanisms, the truth is he doesn’t really know what to do or how to help him when it happens. All he can do is reach out periodically to squeeze his shoulder, trying to provide some sort of reassurance that he’s there and that he’s going to remain there until Johnny decides to join him back in reality no matter how long it’ll take.

He doesn’t blame Johnny though, how can he? Not when reality is such a tough pill to swallow, sometimes it’s just easier to pretend to be somewhere else in someone else’s shoes and not have to deal with all the shit life has decided to chuck your way. It was how Bodhi dealt with the deaths of everyone he held dear for all those years and having to come to the realization that he wasn’t yet destined to join them in the afterlife.

He used to ask _why_ so many times; yelling it at the top of his lungs from the highest peak. Why did he survive when so many others died? Why him? Why not Ozaki or Samsara or Roach and Grommet and Chowder? What made him so special and so much more deserving of being alive?

He realized in that moment, watching Johnny in the hospital fighting for his life, breathing through a tube and looking more dead than alive, that maybe it wasn’t about him after all.

He comes to the realization once again in the car driving into town as he glances at Johnny out of the corner of his eye, watching the strands of long blond hair that had come loose from the pony tail he’d tied it into start whipping around his face; watching the long blonde lashes from behind the sun glasses brush across the highest point of his cheekbone every time he blinked.

He absentmindedly reaches out to stroke the side of Johnny’s face, prompting him to turn his attention to him for the first time in the last half-hour or so.

“I love you,” he says, tearing his eyes off the road momentarily to stare at Johnny from behind his own sunglasses.

Johnny just stares back for a moment before he reacts, reaching up with his right hand to grasp Bodhi’s hand in his, lowering it down to his chin to plant a kiss on the back of his rough and callused knuckles before silently resting his cheek on their intertwined hands. He doesn’t say anything but at the same time, the silence says absolutely everything.

They reach the shelter after almost an hour’s drive; a small building on the outskirts of the nearest town surrounded by fence made of chicken wire and stone wall buildings that Bodhi assumes are the kennels.

Bodhi parks in the spot closest to the front door – he’d specifically chosen this shelter because the listing on the internet said that it was wheelchair accessible, and grabs Johnny’s wheelchair out of the trunk. He doesn’t move to help, only opening up the wheelchair when he rounds the car and comes up to the passenger side door already open and Bodhi sitting there with his legs already hanging out; barely able to hide his pride when Johnny manages to get himself into his chair without help.

He’d come to learn a lot of things over the last month or so they’d been living together; one such thing was to never assume. Just because he wasn’t sure if Johnny could do something, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t able to do it. So Bodhi had learned to let Johnny do his thing and to only step in if he was obviously unable to do it or when Johnny specifically asked for help. And Johnny in turn learned that it was okay to ask for help once in a while.

Johnny wheels himself up the ramp without problem and Bodhi who is already up at the entrance holds the door open for him as they enter.

The place is devoid of patrons, a fact that brings Johnny a measure of relief that Bodhi can see clearly on his face. There are only a couple of women who work at the shelter sitting behind the reception desk, one who gets up immediately to approach the counter when she notices him standing there.

“Hi,” she says, much too chipper for Bodhi who’d become unaccustomed to dealing with people who aren’t Johnny after their self-imposed exile. “How can I help you?”

“We’re looking for a dog,” Bodhi says, glancing over at Johnny.

The girl seems to only notice Johnny sitting there below eye level from across the counter when Bodhi turns to look at him and Bodhi can see Johnny’s shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

“Hi,” she says again, equally as chipper yet somehow slightly higher in pitch to Johnny before she steps out from behind the counter. “I’m Sarah – with an ‘H’,” she says with a grin, “And what kind of dog are you looking for today?”

Bodhi looks at Johnny for a split second before saying with complete seriousness. “I’ve always been partial to Dogo Argentinos.”

Johnny actually chuckles at his response, shaking his head slightly and the girl lets out an unsure giggle. “Umm, I don’t think we have any Dogo Argentinos though, I’m sorry.”

Bodhi can’t help his sigh, but Johnny still looks amused and the small smile is still clear on his face so Bodhi takes it as a small win anyway.

“Can we have a look at what you have? We’re – uh, rather new to the whole pet business.”

“Of course,” Sarah with an H replies happily, motioning them towards the door at the far end of the room. “Have either of you had a pet before?”

Bodhi shakes his head. “Nothing really official. I was… on the road a lot.”

“And you – uh, mister?”

“Johnny,” Johnny says, “This is Bodhi,” he motions to Bodhi who lifts his hand up in greeting. He’d never been much of a people person and he was never in the business of having to actually deal with them outside of duties. “I used to have a dog when I was younger – a _long_ time ago,” he says.

“So… are your two – uh, together?” she asks, “I’m sorry if I’m being nosy.”

Bodhi and Johnny share a look. Bodhi says, “It’s complicated,” at the same time that Johnny says, “Yes.” And they’re both left to share an awkward look immediately after.

Sarah with an H just chuckles. “Well, what better way to start a complicated new relationship than with man’s best friend, right?” Bodhi lets out a hesitant chuckle; Johnny stays silent though his small smile remains. “I’m sure we’ll find some handsome guy or girl that’ll bring you both happiness.”

The moment they step into the backroom where kennels are situation, the sudden explosion of noise is almost overwhelming; the barking, small and sharp and yippy and big and boisterous and loud and everything else in between. Bodhi was never one to back away from a challenge, but he almost turned tail and ran in that moment.

Sarah with an H leads them down the rows of kennels situated next to each other, sounding out each breed of dog and age and temperament. Bodhi’s only half listening; his senses are being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of dogs in the place and he’s trying to keep his attention on listening to the girl trying to introduce him to all the dogs at the same time and looking over at Johnny who isn’t listening at all and is instead looking at the dogs one by one as he wheels himself slowly past their kennels.

Bodhi doesn’t think this is such a good idea anymore, he kind of wants to grab Johnny and head out to the car and leave and never look back. For one thing, how are they even supposed to choose? There are too many dogs, all of them adorable in their own way and all of them seeking a kind touch and a warm home. Bodhi had wondered why he’d never been to a shelter before; Samsara used to volunteer at a few in her spare time, and he finds his answer right at that moment.

He’d take all of them home with them if he could.

He’s lost deep in his own thoughts that he doesn’t even realize that Sarah with an H is almost to the end of the hall and Johnny is no longer by his side. He catches himself when he starts saying something to Johnny and receives no reply, only then does he stop and turn around, finding Johnny by one of the kennels they’d passed, sitting there silently staring at something in the far corner of the seemingly empty enclosure.

Bodhi backtracks until he’s by Johnny’s side again and looks closer to see what it is Johnny is looking at, only then does he notice the pitiful hunched over figure in the corner sitting with its back to them and head bent so low against the wall they can only see the outlines of its vertebrae poking through scarred leathery skin.

“Oh, I see you’ve noticed Tank,” says a feminine voice and Bodhi tries not to seem too startled by the sudden appearance of Sarah with an H by his side.

“What’s the matter with him?” Johnny asks.

Sarah with an H sighs sadly. “Something we see far too often in the world – he was used as a bait dog,” she says.

“A bait dog?” Johnny asks and for a moment even Bodhi’s mind can’t comprehend what kind of cruelty could be attached to the term, and he’s seen a lot of terrible things in his line of business.

“A dog that was used to train other fighting dogs,” she says. “Most of the time they’re tied down, without anyway to defend themselves and fighting dogs are let loose on them. It’s a _horrible_ , barbaric practice and one that is sadly still done today.”

“That’s horrible,” Bodhi says with complete disgust.

“Tank… well, he hasn’t been adjusting well, not that anyone can blame him. He’s not really a recommended choice for adoption; he’s terrified of humans and dogs alike. He’s really only here because no other rescue was willing to take him.”

Sarah keeps on talking and yet Bodhi can already see from Johnny’s face that nothing she’s saying is even registering. Johnny has already set his sights on the dog and from Bodhi’s experience, once Johnny has set his sights on something it’s near impossible to get him to look away or change his mind.

Instead he holds his hands up to Sarah to halt her mid-sentence. She turns to look at him quizzically but he just shakes his head and says, “It’s okay,” as if it makes any sense to her whatsoever.

Johnny doesn’t pay either of them any mind; his attention is focused completely on the pitiful looking creature so terrified he’s trying to pretend he’s part of the wall. After a moment, he wheels himself over to the gate, looking over at Sarah finally. “Can you open this?”

“Are you sure?” she asks skeptically.

It’s Bodhi who answers. “Yes, we’re sure.”

Sarah just gives a small shrug, walking over to the gate, Johnny wheeling himself back slightly to give her room. She opens the gate wide open before turning to Johnny. “Do you want me to get him for you?” she asks.

Johnny just shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. Just… could you give me a moment,” he asks, wheeling himself back into position in front of the now opened kennel.

Bodhi notices that the opening is a fraction smaller than the width of Johnny’s wheelchair, so he wouldn’t be able to get himself in there, but he doesn’t think that would even be an issue for Johnny. Johnny wants that dog, he can tell, and he knows that no matter what, they’ll be walking out of that shelter with that dog no matter how long it’ll take.

Johnny leans forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees, not doing anything or even calling out to the dog; he’s just sitting there looking at him.

Bodhi can sense Sarah’s confusion beside him so he turns to her. “Have any coffee?” he asks, “We might be here a while.”

Sarah with an H returns his look though hers is still tinged with skepticism and a little confusion. “Are you two really, really sure?” She asks again.

Bodhi sighs, circling an arm around her shoulder and leading her towards the door they’d entered from. “You’ll soon learn that we’re never unsure.”

With one last glance at Johnny still seemingly lost in a trance, staring silently at the dog who hasn’t moved even a fraction, Bodhi leads her out the door and settles in for a long afternoon. He just hopes they have enough coffee to ride it out.

\--

Three hours.

That’s how long Bodhi’s been sitting there.

Six cups of coffee.

That’s how much caffeine he’s ingested in the meantime.

He gets up periodically from the seat he’s imprinted on to peek in on Johnny still inside the room trying to dog-whisper the poor thing still undoubtedly staring at the wall in the corner of the kennel. He’s also been introduced to the rest of the staff at the shelter besides Sarah with an H. There’s Gina with the bejeweled glasses, Cassandra but my friends call me Cassie and the matriarch of the shelter, Bernadette who seems to have an affinity for dog prints on her clothes.

They converse off and on. They ask him what he does – he sells bathroom tiles for anyone who asks, and they ramble on about their lives and Bodhi finds himself far more invested than he thought he’d be, especially because Bernadette’s cheating husband sounds like a tool and she should definitely divorce him and take the kids.

“So… your friend,” Cassie starts, trailing off unsurely at the use of friend, “Or – boyfriend…?”

Bodhi slumps back in his chair. “It’s complicated.”

“But you have feelings for him?” Bernadette asks, handing him another cup of coffee almost like a bribe.

Bodhi pauses for a moment. “Yes,” he says, “I’m just… not really sure where we actually are on the matter.”

“Does he have feelings for you?” Bernadette asks again.

“I think so,” Bodhi says, this time he’s the one who sounds unsure.

“Well if you ask me, there’s nothing more to think about beyond that. You love him and he loves you and everything else will just sort itself out in the meantime.”

“It’s not that simple,” he says.

“It’s not that complicated either,” she says, staring him with an annoyingly knowing look. “Life is short, just focus on what’s important, otherwise… well, look at me – stuck in a loveless marriage with a cheating asshole.”

“You should leave him,” Bodhi says immediately, thankful for the change in subject.

“And _you_ should be more certain about your feelings for him,” she says smugly. Bodhi has to admit that he walked right into that one.

“Touché,” he says.

Neither of them pursues the subject after that and Bodhi is glad. Instead he sets aside the coffee cup and gets to his feet, feeling slightly woozy for a split second as the massive influx of caffeine makes a rush for his brain, but he settles on his feet quickly before walking over to the door to peek in at Johnny.

This time though he finds the wheelchair by the kennel empty and no Johnny in sight.

He forces himself not to rush in; pushing the door in slowly and making his way towards the open kennel and the empty wheelchair sitting at the entrance.

The first thing he sees are Johnny’s legs stretched out almost touching the edge of the wall beside the chain-link and the owner of said legs sitting with his back leaning against the opposite wall.

Unexpectedly, he finds the far corner of the kennel now empty of its hunched occupant and instead finds the dog with his ears flat and his tail tucked lying on the floor about a foot away from where Johnny’s hand is stretched out towards him. His sad eyes staring up fearfully at Johnny who’s just silently staring back; not moving or saying anything, but somehow making a connection with the scared dog in a way that’s far beyond words.

Johnny doesn’t seem to notice Bodhi standing there and Bodhi tries not to alert either of them to his presence. He just slowly backs away, stepping out the door and closing it without making any noise.

“Is everything okay?” Sarah with an H asks when he exits.

He turns to her with a smile. “I think so. Maybe even for the both of them.”

\--

Two hours later.

Bodhi can already see the tell-tale signs of the sun beginning it’s descent in the distance. A question to the women about what time they closed are met with casual brushing off motions and a chorus of _‘don’t worry about it’_ s.

Bernadette says, “We’ll close when it’s time to close,” with a smile which Bodhi returns surprisingly easily.

He peeks in again into the room and still finds the wheelchair empty. Pushing open the door, he makes his way once again towards the kennel and this time has to force himself not to make a sound when he finds Johnny still in the exact same position, except that the dog is now within touching distance, and not only that, has his eyes closes and his ears perked as Johnny runs his hands soothingly over the top of his head.

Only then is Bodhi able to take a good look at the dog.

The dog has only one ear, that’s the first thing he notices; the other side of his head is just a pink stump covered in still healing stiches. His entire body, the area where the white coat has only begun to come in is covered in scars; literally hundreds; but it’s his face that Bodhi can’t tear his eyes away from. Half his nose is missing, showing only the nostril and the side of his mouth had been ripped open, leaving his snout almost in a permanent snarl, bearing teeth that had been filed down to stumps and a face that’s covered in almost as many scars as his body.

Bodhi can almost feel the warm stinging of tears in his eyes and he continues staring without blinking. He looks over at Johnny and can see that he’d lost his own battle some time ago judging by the dried tear tracks on his face.

“Johnny,” he calls out softly, managing to catch Johnny’s attention without scaring the dog, “Are you okay?” he asks.

Johnny looks absolutely exhausted and just weary to the bone, that’s the first thing he notices. His eyes are almost half lidded and he looks both tired and sad and angry all at the same time. “No,” he says finally, “I’m not okay.”

Bodhi nods. Tentatively, he makes his way closer, careful not to make any sudden movements and scare the dog, pushing Johnny’s wheelchair out of the way and bending down to a crouch, reaching for Johnny’s hand sitting limp on his lap, holding it tight in both of his. “And _that’s_ okay,” he says, “It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, just… I’m here for you, whatever you want – whatever you need, just know that – have faith in that. There’s nothing you can do or say that’ll scare me away, I just want you to know that.”

He can see the tears pooling in Johnny’s eyes when he finishes and reaches over just in time to wipe one away before it trickles all the way down his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Johnny says tearfully. “I’m sorry I’ve been so angry at you most of the time and upset at you the rest. It’s not your fault –”

“And it’s not yours either,” Bodhi interjects quickly. “None of what happened is your fault and you don’t have to apologize to me or to anyone for anything,” he says sternly. “I just want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me things, when you’re sad or angry, _why_ you’re sad or angry or even when there’s no reason for you to feel that way other than you just do. I want you to tell me. I want to help you but I just don’t know how to. I don’t know what to do or what to say and it scares me because seeing you so upset and not knowing how to help is the most helpless I’ve ever felt in my life. So… _please_ , don’t shut me out; let me know what you need and when you need it, even if you don’t know what it is yourself, I can sit with you and help you figure it out.”

Johnny keeps his eyes on Bodhi until he finishes, even when he does he doesn’t look away, he just leans his head back to rest on the partition that separates Tank’s kennel from the next and just exhales.

“I’m tired, Bodhi,” he says finally, “All the time – of… _this_ … all of this; this situation, this – this body.” Johnny admits tearfully and Bodhi finds it hard to keep his own emotions at bay. “I’m tired of being like this… of living like this, in this – this body that doesn’t work, that – that doesn’t even feel like mine. I’m just… I… I don’t want to be a burden.” Johnny finishes with a barely disguised sob, retracting his hand that’s still stroking the top of the dog’s head to brush away the tear that had started trickling down his cheek.

Bodhi feels his own heart breaking at the confession, his thumb still rubbing soothing circles in the back of Johnny’s hand grasped tightly in his own. He reaches over again to grasp the side of Johnny’s face, leaning in close until their noses are almost touching. “You’re not a burden, Johnny,” he says, staring straight into his eyes, “You’re _not_. You never were and you never will be, you hear me? _I love you_! Maybe I always have, I just didn’t realize it at the time, but I do. I love you, all of you and what happened… this…” he glances at Johnny up and down with his eyes, “What happened to you is terrible, but it wasn’t your fault. If anything, it’s mine. But it doesn’t change a thing. It doesn’t change how I feel, it doesn’t change what I want; if nothing else, it just makes me love you more because you are the strongest, most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life and you always will be.”

Johnny is completely enraptured by his words and the moment he finishes, before he can even take a breath he finds Johnny’s hands grasping the side of his face and his lips crashing into his.

The kiss is brief and rather awkward but it’s one of the most amazing things Bodhi’s ever experiences. They break apart but don’t release their hold on one another, instead resting their foreheads together and inhaling the scent of the other person’s breath so close to them.

“I love you too,” Johnny says, almost a whisper, but Bodhi hears it like it’s been spoken through a bull-horn straight into his eardrum.

Bodhi doesn’t know how long they stay like that. He can feel the muscles in his thighs cramping up from being in the awkward crouched position for so long but he doesn’t care. He continues caressing the side of Johnny’s face with his thumb and holding him close.

It’s Johnny who finally pulls back first, sniffling and readjusting himself in his seat before reaching over to resume stroking the top of Tank’s head soothingly.

Bodhi leans back, switching positions slightly without getting up. “I guess we found our dog,” he says, looking at the dog lying on his stomach with his pawns in front of him, eyes closed and looking almost relaxed; a far cry from the pitiful creature he saw cowering in the corner when they first came in.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get your Dogo,” Johnny says.

Bodhi laughs. “It’s okay,” he says with a smile. “We can always get a second dog. Besides, we’re here for you.”

“What time is it?”

Bodhi glances at his watch before letting him know that it’s almost dusk which startles Johnny. “I didn’t want to disturb you and the ladies said to let you take your time.”

Johnny just nods, glancing over to the dog lying beside him.

It takes another fifteen minutes of Johnny reassuring the dog before Bodhi helps him back into his wheelchair. The dog stares nervously between Johnny and Bodhi before he takes a few hesitant steps out of the kennel and nudges the back of Johnny’s outstretched hand with his head when he finally walks over to him.

Bodhi gives them a moment when he steps out to get the paperwork settled. Sarah with an H is waiting for him when he exits the room and judging by the look on her face he can tell that she saw a bit of what happened inside.

“We’ll take him,” he says to the crowd when they convene immediately at the front desk. “Do I need to fill out anything or pay or –”

“No,” Bernadette says immediately. “Honestly, we didn’t think we’d ever find Tank a home and… well…” She starts getting misty eyed at this point so Sarah takes over.

“We just want him to finally find a place where he belongs, where he can be happy with people who will show him what it feels like to be loved – lord knows it’s been way overdue for him,” she says. “We can tell that he’ll be able to find that with you two.”

“Just promise to keep us updated, tell us how he’s doing; how they’re both doing,” Gina adds.

Bodhi opens his mouth to reply but hears the sound of Johnny’s wheelchair nearing the door and makes his way over immediately to open it. Johnny comes through and not a second later the sound of nails padding on the linoleum floor follows him and the dog with his head bent low hesitantly steps out after him. Johnny keeps contact with the dog, stroking him reassuringly as he tries to maneuver his chair at the same time and the dog in turn keeps close to his side.

“Congratulations,” the ladies say almost in unison when Johnny exits. “He’s lucky you found him,” Sarah says.

Johnny finally looks up at her. “No,” he says, “It’s the other way around.”

The drive back home is almost in silence after almost ten minutes picking out a handful of toys, buying dogfood and other provisions and finally bidding goodbye to the ladies who stay out to wave at them until the sight of shelter finally disappears in the rearview mirror. Bodhi is alone in the front with Johnny and Tank in the back, his snout lying on Johnny’s lap and Johnny’s hand continuously stroking the top of his head.

“How are you feeling?” Bodhi asks without turning around.

Johnny tears his eyes away from where they’d been staring out the window at the scenery rushing past to meet Bodhi’s staring at him in the reflection of the rear view mirror. “Tired,” he says, “But not tired in that way. Just… _tired_. I can’t wait to be home and be in bed… with you.”

Bodhi smiles at that. “The good kind of tired then,” he says.

“I suppose,” Johnny says, though he has a small smile on his face.

“How’s Tank?”

Johnny glances at the dog sleeping soundly with his snout on his lap. “Healing,” he says and leaves the silence lingering for a moment before he calls out; “Bodhi?”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking… maybe we should change his name? Tank is just… I don’t know, maybe a reminder of his terrible past?”

Bodhi locks eyes with Johnny through the reflection. “Whatever you think is best, man. What did you have in mind?”

Johnny ponders his answer for a moment. “I’m probably not the most imaginative person to say this, but do you know the story of Hachiko? The dog that kept waiting for his owner who died?”

“Not that this isn’t a sudden and rather depressing change of subject, but yes I do. You like that name?”

“Well… not specifically that name, but Hachi means eight in Japanese, so…”

Bodhi smiles widely at that, this time turning around to face Johnny for a moment. “It’s perfect,” he says. His smile only grows because of the beaming smile he gets from Johnny in return.

\--

They reach home just as the sky fully darkens in the horizon, pulling into the driveway as the sound of seagulls disappears in the distance.

It’s the comfortable routine they seem to have found themselves falling into, Bodhi taking out Johnny’s wheelchair without word and leaving it by the door as he walks over to switch on the porch light, leaving Johnny to some sort of privacy as he moves himself into his chair.

It takes some beckoning by Johnny before a reluctant and fearful Tank, or rather Hachi, as he has been redubbed – finally patters out of the car, his head bowed even lower than usual and sticking as Johnny as close as he can. Johnny looks like he’s ready to lift the dog up onto his lap and the only thing stopping him is the fact that he looks barely able to wheel his own self up towards the house.

Bodhi lets him have a moment to settle himself but when Johnny lets go of the rims, resting his elbows on the armrest without word, Bodhi takes it as his queue to step in. Moving behind Johnny and taking over pushing him the rest of the way into the house. Johnny keeps his hands on Hachi, patting him and rubbing his head in a comforting way to reassure him; a feat that’s much easier to do with his hands freed.

“The bedroom?” Bodhi asks when they enter and he moves to switch on the lights to illuminate the rest of the house.

Johnny thinks on it for a second before he shakes his head. “No… not yet. Lets just stay in the living room for a while where it’s open,” he says, heading towards the living room couch and the plush white carpet they have decorating the center.

Bodhi makes sure the front door it closed and locked and moves to check on the rest of the house – an ingrained habit he can’t seem to shake off, before he walks over to open the sliding door leading to the veranda, letting the cool oceanic breeze into the house and finally making his way towards Johnny who’s settling in on the carpet, patting the empty spot beside him and beckoning the still fearful dog standing just shy of stepping onto the carpet.

“It’s okay boy,” Johnny says, holding a hand out to him and calling him close.

The dog looks like there’s nothing he wants to do more than approach Johnny but is grounded by his fear. Bodhi kind of wants to find the people who did that to the dog and show them how it feels to be that terrified.

Attempting the kind of stunts he did in the past took a hell of a lot of patience, but Bodhi didn’t think he really understood the meaning of the word until finding himself there in that position looking at Johnny being the most patient person trying to win the trust of this dog who truly has no reason to trust another human being. Watching the time ticking by as the dog places one hesitant paw after another on the carpet, making his way slowly, his head low and his tail tucked towards Johnny and Johnny just smiling and encouraging him and rubbing his head proudly once he comes within touching distance.

Pride.

That’s what Bodhi finds himself feeling in that moment. Pride towards Johnny for bringing the fearful dog out of his shell and pride towards the dog for still being able to put his trust in man even though he has absolutely no reason to do so.

He knew getting a dog would be a good thing the moment Johnny mentioned it but he never could have expected just how much. It isn’t just Johnny that’s slowly being healed by the meeting, but the dog as well and in more ways that Bodhi could have ever even wished.

He takes a seat on the floor next to Johnny opposite of where Hachi is slowly settling in, feeling the material of the carpet under his paw and looking at it curiously like he’s never seen such a thing before, which Bodhi knows isn’t far from the truth. He reaches over to circle his arm around Johnny’s shoulder and leans in close. Johnny meets him halfway before he finally turns to meet his eyes.

The long absent smile on his face; the one that finally reaches his eyes again is a sight to behold and the only thing Bodhi can do is lean over to plant a kiss on his cheek in return.

“Thank you,” he says before Johnny’s brows furrow slightly in confusion.

“For what?” Johnny asks.

“For being strong and not giving up – for not giving up on _me_ even though you had every reason to,” he says. “Just… for being you.”

“I should be the one thanking you for that,” Johnny says with a small hesitant chuckle.

“No,” Bodhi says quickly, “I’m the lucky one in this case for having you by my side, and now Hachi. I don’t think you realize just how much.”

Johnny just keeps his gaze, the small smile almost static on his face; barely blinking though Bodhi can see a wide array of emotions flashing through his face. The most prominent one: _affection_ , and he hopes his own expression conveys the same in return.

“I love you, Bodhi,” Johnny says finally.

“I love you more, Johnny Utah,” he says immediately.

They say nothing more after that, just snuggling closer into the embrace as Hachi who finally seems to have smelled the carpet to his heart’s content lies down beside Johnny, half perched on Johnny’s lap and his snout seeking the comforting touch of Johnny’s hand.

They stay in the same position the whole night straight into morning and are still awake to watch as the sun slowly begin its ascension from behind the blue stretch of ocean in the distance.

Bodhi is making breakfast that morning when he catches Johnny with his hands gently caressing the side of Hachi’s neck and shoulder, their foreheads touching almost like a prayer. Both have their eyes closed and Johnny looks the most relaxed and unburdened that Bodhi has seen him in months, perhaps even years that he finds himself reaching for his phone and taking a picture of the moment of tenderness for the both of them. He contemplates sending the picture to the ladies at the shelter to show them Hachi’s progress and to update them on the new name change, but in the end he decides that that’s one picture he wants to keep all to himself.

He takes another, less vulnerable one later that day that he sends to the number the ladies shoved into his hand before they left the shelter, demanding frequent updates.

For the first time in a long time Bodhi feels like life really is good.

However, it isn’t until a couple days later that the monumental shift becomes truly apparent when Bodhi rouses from a fitful sleep to find himself in bed with only a cold empty space beside him as company.

“Johnny?” he calls out groggily, still mentally stumbling into coherency and wakefulness, looking around at empty darkness of the bedroom.

Only silence answers him.

It’s the last few years spent watching over his shoulder and keeping his back to walls that fuels him from that point on as he flings the blanket fully off him and is on his feet and out the door before his mind can fully register the action.

The house is silent when he calls out the name again and he feels his heartbeat starting to race slightly as he looks around the corner and into the empty kitchen before spotting the veranda door open and the small note that’s been left under a cup on the table.

**_Went to the beach. - J_ **

It says, and Bodhi feels himself physically exhaling the moment the words register in his sleep and worry muddled mind. He doesn’t take his time rereading the note before returning it to its original position and quickly heading towards the open air of the veranda and that’s when time just physically stops around him.

On the shore of the beach, the waves lapping gently against the sandy banks and the rippling sound of the tide almost like a calming balm on his heart, is Johnny. The wind ruffles his long blond hair before he reaches up to tuck a wayward strand behind his ear, the other turning a green tennis ball absentmindedly in his hand. Beside him is Hachi, sniffing around; cautiously yet curiously approaching the rushing and receding water as it slowly climbs up the shore, leaving behind a foamy residue on the wet sand. He jumps back with a whine when a particular wave comes in a bit too close and a bit too fast causing Johnny to laugh.

Bodhi doesn’t think he’s ever seen a sight more beautiful than that.

He doesn’t move to approach the pair for a while, just leaning against the rail on his elbows watching Johnny watch Hachi react to the sand under his feet and the smell of salt and seawater in the air. His tail is untucked and his head is high, his ear perked, listening in to all the unfamiliar sounds around him invading his senses, though his attention would always turn back to look at Johnny, as if making sure he’s still there.

Bodhi finally makes his way down the ramp and over to Johnny after about fifteen minutes of watching him, absorbing the sight of his smile and the sound of his laughter floating all the way up to the house.

“Good morning,” Johnny greets first when he catches sight of Bodhi’s approach out of the corner of his eye.

“Morning,” Bodhi responds with a smile when he steps up. “You didn’t wake me.”

Johnny’s lips curl into a small sheepish smile. “You looked like you needed the rest. Besides, I just… I guess, I just needed to do this… myself.”

“I understand,” he says, “And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for… well, for everything.”

“Thanks,” Johnny says, “It means a lot to hear to you say that.”

“Then I’ll say it a lot more,” he says immediately, crouching down beside Johnny’s chair to look at the dog still pattering around the shore curiously. “How’s he doing?”

“Good. He’s… he has a ways to go but I think we’re on the right track.”

Bodhi tears his eyes away from the dog to look at Johnny’s profile. “Are we still talking about the dog?”

Johnny doesn’t immediately turn though he thinks on his answer for a moment. “Yes… and no,” he says before finally turning to meet Bodhi’s eyes. “Maybe a bit of both.”

“Both is good,” he says.

After a while he gives up trying to find a comfortable position while staying crouched down beside Johnny and just settles himself on the cool, sparkling sand, reaching out to squeeze Johnny’s hand, beckoning him to do the same.

Johnny complies wordlessly, finding the feat much easier than when he attempted it on the grassy bend on the side of the high way all those months ago. It seemed nearly a lifetime ago to the both of them and how far they’ve come as individuals and as a couple starting this new and unexpected yet wondrous adventure together.

Once again, Bodhi circles his arm around Johnny’s shoulder, holding him secure against his side, bringing one knee up to his chest and resting a casual arm over it.

“Can I ask?” he voices the question suddenly, “Why him? I mean… what drew you to this dog in particular when there were so many in that shelter I couldn’t even concentrate on thinking, much less making a decision.”

Johnny reaches one arm behind him, the one closest to Bodhi’s torso, reaching half behind Bodhi to plant his palm in the coolness of sand but he doesn’t turn, instead keeping his eyes on Hachi who seems to have zeroed in on one small crab in particular and is torn between wanting to investigate the strange creature further and running back in fear.

“I could ask you the same question,” he says instead, “Why me? When there were so many people out on the water that day?”

He doesn’t elaborate further but he knows that Bodhi understands what he means.

The day Bodhi saved him from drowning.

The day that irrevocably changed both their lives forever.

“I suppose… it was a feeling,” Bodhi says.

“Well, it’s like that with me too… a feeling,” Johnny says. “I just saw this pitiful, sad, broken animal and I saw myself in him because that’s how I feel on the inside – how we both felt on the inside… _broken_ ,” he trails off for a beat. “Maybe a small part of me just felt like… maybe I could do something for him – help him in a way that I wasn’t willing to do with myself. I know how much you tried to help, how much you _are_ helping; don’t for one second think I’m not grateful for what you’ve done, for everything you’ve done for me; for going above and beyond what you needed to do even though you didn’t have to do any of it at all. But I guess… I just needed to _want_ to accept that help; that I was in a place that was willing to accept everything you were giving me because at that point, I didn’t want help. I didn’t want your help or anyone else’s help. I didn’t want to help myself and I just needed to learn to do just that.”

Bodhi lets the silent sit for a minute, but when Johnny doesn’t continue he takes it as his cue. “Are you ready now?”

“Not completely, but I’m getting there I think. Just… be patient with me.”

Bodhi smiles wide at that. “When am I not patient? Especially when it’s with you?”

Johnny tears his eyes away from where he’s been staring at a spot in the sand he was doodling on absentmindedly with a finger. The smile is initially absent from his face but returns to it slowly like the rising of the most beautiful sun. The sun in Bodhi’s life anyway.

“And what you said before, at the shelter, about how this was in a way your fault: you were wrong then. This isn’t your fault either,” Johnny says.

“Let’s just agree that it’s no one’s fault except that kid with the gun,” Bodhi says.

Johnny smiles. “Alright.”

The sound of heavy breathing and the sudden smell of wet dog that invades their nostrils immediately interrupts the moment and both Johnny and Bodhi turn just in time to catch a face full of seawater when the sodding wet Hachi shakes off what feels like half the content of the ocean over the both of them in one fell swoop.

“Hachi!” Bodhi exclaims but Johnny just lets out a boisterous laugh, and in that moment Bodhi thinks he’ll gladly wear all the dog hair/seawater combination in the world to keep hearing that sound on a daily basis.

So that’s how the tale ends: on a sunny day on the beach with a dog who’s never known love and two men who found love in each other. But it’s really just the beginning of their story that starts with a once upon a time.

**The End**


End file.
